The Support Network
by ashhead
Summary: Katniss is barely functioning after Peeta's death. With the victory tour and the upcoming Quell, Effie, Haymitch and the other victors try to pick up the pieces.
1. Chapter 1

_Right, so I haven't abandoned my other story, am going to work on a chapter for that now, but this one wanted to be written. The basic premise is that Peeta died of blood loss in the games before Katniss could think of the berries. __Let me know what you think._

She relived those moments over and over again. Him falling halfway to the ground, her arms catching him and lowering him the rest of the way. His fingers toying with the end of her braid. That awful moment when he told her he loved her and she didn't know what to say in response. The taste of his lips when she pressed hers against his, not knowing what else to do. He tasted of sweat and dirt and blood. She hated it, she tasted it all the time now. Then the sound of the cannon ringing in her ears. Every loud noise she heard now took her back there, scrambling away from his body, wiping his taste from her mouth. She hated him so much for leaving her behind.

Of course, she was a little bit in love with him as well. His kisses haunted her nightmares, especially that one kiss they'd shared in the cave, the one that had made her skin burn. She'd had to relive the games for her victory interview, she'd seen the depth of his love for her. It made her feel shallow and empty. It made everyone else seem shallower still.

She had isolated herself since she'd come back. Not that she hadn't been isolated before, but now her world only comprised two people. Prim was the only good thing left in the world, the only thing worth living for. Her being alive meant that Prim had enough to eat for the first time in her life, some days that was the only thing that kept her breathing.

The other person in her life was Haymitch, although her actual contact with him was limited. But he understood her, knew the darkness in her, and didn't judge. Sometimes he would sit with her when it was bad and they'd exchange a few barbs; he'd make her see that life went on. Although sometimes when she sought him out he'd be passed out drunk and all that served for was to show her how hopeless the future was.

There were other people who existed in her life, around the periphery, her mother and Gale mostly, but she tried to ignore them as much as possible. He mother was still a black hole of negative emotions, she didn't trust the woman and kept her at arm's length.

Gale was a different issue altogether. He'd been angry when she'd come back, although he had no right to be. She'd been consumed by her grief and in no position to deal with his selfishness. They'd exchanged angry words and she had refused to see him since.

Today her world was going to expand again to encompass Effie, Cinna and her prep team. Her prep team tended to be entirely self obsessed and could be convinced to leave her alone without much difficulty. It was Effie and Cinna she was more worried about. Effie was an airhead, but she was also persistent and she could be difficult to get rid of. Cinna had been her friend, but he didn't understand the games in the way that Haymitch did. She feared his judgement.

"Katniss they're here." That was Prim, she was excited to meet everyone, she'd been sitting by the window all day waiting. Then she heard Effie's shrill voice exclaiming over how adorable Prim was.

It was Cinna who saw her first, perched at the top of the stairs, staring down at them. He pulled her into a hug. "You alright?"

She wasn't of course, she was nowhere near 'alright' but she nodded her head anyway. She let Cinna lead her downstairs and into the arms of her prep team who didn't even know enough to think to ask if she was ok. Their main concern was the state of her eyebrows and fingernails. Effie gave her a very measured look, she was probably worrying whether Katniss' mental state was going to affect her schedule.

"Alright people we have three hours before we're live. Katniss into prep now. Where's Haymitch?" Definitely worried about her schedule.

"Passed out drunk, probably." He'd been drinking heavily when she'd stopped by the night before with a squirrel and had shown no signs of stopping.

"Of course he is," Effie rolled her eyes, "I guess I'll go and get him then."

Katniss was shepherded upstairs into the bathroom by Octavia, who was most distraught over the basic level of the facilities. Cinna actually had to come in and calm her down. Katniss had to bite her tongue at this, she knew for a fact that her bathroom was the most sophisticated in the district, beating the ancient system in the mayor's house by a long way. She knew Octavia meant well, but she really was incredibly shallow.

Not as shallow as Katniss herself though. Peeta had been trying to save her and she'd thrown a tracker jacker nest on him...

By the time she came back to her senses her skin was smooth and for the most part hairless. She smelt like roses. Cinna was very concerned as he helped her into a gorgeous outfit he'd designed himself. She deflected him by complimenting him on it. She wasn't very successful though and he kept a worried eye on her as he led her back down the stairs.

She was greeted by the very surreal scene of her mother and sister sat drinking tea with her prep team. They seemed to be discussing remedies for hangovers. Prim was actually giggling.

Haymitch was standing in the corner scowling. He was clean, like he'd actually washed; his hair was straight and blonde, not the thick matted mess it normally was, and he'd shaved. He was also wearing one of Cinna's creations, she didn't know how she knew but she did. It was an understated grey suit that spoke of both wealth and class. Maybe that was how she knew, nobody else in the Capitol other than Cinna had any class.

Effie was rearranging flowers, it was clear that she'd been through and rearranged the house to suit the cameras, everything had been moved and there were ostentatious flashes of colour everywhere. Effie had no class, no one in district twelve would dress their house like this. Her wig was also askew.

"Oh Katniss, look at you. You're just perfect." Katniss now had to suffer the indignity of being passed from person to person so they could exclaim on how beautiful she was. She managed a smile for Prim though. Her mother didn't even try.

"Effie, your hair." That was Cinna, and the moment he said it her prep team burst out laughing as if a great secret had been spilled.

Effie's fingers flew up to her wig, an awful green monstrosity, and she gasped. "Honestly Haymitch do you not have any manners at all?" She left the flowers and ran off up the stairs. This made everybody laugh more. Katniss could see that it was funny, but it just seemed kind of cruel to her. She hadn't been finding humour in anything lately though.

When Effie came back down with her wig perfectly straight she summoned Katniss into the office to go through the questions Caesar would be asking her. She tried to pay attention but the material was so dry and she knew that Caesar would help her through the interview so she wasn't really worried. Instead she paid attention to Haymitch who had followed them into the office. He looked a bit sheepish and had put his hand on Effie's arm as he led her to the chair. He hadn't removed it yet, neither of them seemed to have noticed, and his thumb had started tracing circles on her skin. Was this his way of apologising?

The room lapsed into silence before Katniss realised she had been asked a question. "What?"

"Katniss are you not listening at all? You'll be live in fifteen minutes."

"Eff, give the girl a break, you know Caesar's got this."

"Haymitch! This is an important interview, she needs to be prepared."

"Give her the cards and let her prepare herself then."

Effie narrowed her eyes at Haymitch. The thumb which had been circling her skin was now pressing into it and his knuckles were going white.

"Ok. Katniss just make sure you read through them all, it's important you are prepared." Haymitch's grip on Effie's arm had released and his thumb was rubbing across the mark he'd left. Effie got up from the chair to leave, Haymitch's fingers trailed the length of her arm as she did, their fingers tangling for an instant. Then they were both gone.

Katniss sat in her chair and didn't glance at the cards once. Instead she traced circles on her own skin and wondered.

They came back to her when it was time to go on air, placed her on the sofa in the overdressed sitting room and left her. She could still see them standing in the doorway, and kept her eyes on Prim until Caesar started talking to her.

His questions were innocuous and she answered them easily, feeling mildly irritated at Effie's unnecessary fussing. How was she doing? How had her life changed since becoming a victor? What was life in victor's village like? Then Caesar asked how she was coping without Peeta. She shook her head and dug her fingernails into her palms to try and stop the tears she could feel burning her eyes. It was no use though, they fell anyway.

When she came back to her senses she was sat in a chair in the dining cart of the train, speeding away from district twelve. The door to the carriage wasn't properly closed and she could hear Effie and Haymitch in the corridor.

"Being prepared wouldn't have helped Eff, she can't talk about him, she can't even think about him, every time she does she ends up like this."

There was a silence that stretched for a few seconds before Effie replied. "They're going talk about him at every district, you know that. It's all they want to talk about. How are we going to get her through this?"

"I don't know. All we can really do is be there when she needs us. I'm going to need you to ration the booze again."

"Yeah I guessed that. You need to talk to Cinna, he's really worried about her. I'll sit with her until you come back."

Effie came into the carriage and headed straight for the drinks section, pouring herself a hot drink from one of the machines. "Did you want a drink Katniss?"

Katniss considered this, she felt drained and exhausted, something hot would definitely help. "Is there hot chocolate?"

"Oh, you're back with us. Yes there's hot chocolate." A few more button presses and Effie was carrying two steaming mugs over to the table. She put them down on the table and took the seat next to Katniss.

Katniss took a large mouthful of the hot chocolate, savouring the taste and the warmth it spread through her. She remembered drinking this with Peeta, how much he'd enjoyed it. The tears that pricked at her eyes this time didn't burn, they almost felt like a release.

She blinked them away, but not before Effie noticed. "Oh, Katniss." Effie reached over and took her hand, lacing their fingers together. They sat together in silence, sipping at their drinks until Haymitch came back with Cinna in tow.

The four of them spent the evening sat together, Effie and Cinna relaying stories of the outrageous things that had been happening in the Capitol to make her and Haymitch laugh. As she went to bed she considered that maybe she was willing to let her world expand slightly to encompass Effie and Cinna.


	2. Chapter 2

_I have had a particularly unsuccessful week at updating, I've had to delete both an update for this and for Collision as I just wasn't happy with them. Hopefully this is a little better. Feedback is appreciated, thank you to everyone who reviewed/fav'd/followed, it really does help._

The nightmares came as they always did. It was a dream that she'd had before, those awful mutts chasing her and Peeta through the forest. The mutt with the eyes of the boy from district one caught Peeta, knocking him down to the ground, and tore his leg off. She ran to him, desperately trying to pull him up, get him away, but he was already fading.

"Peeta, please get up. Please don't leave me."

He doesn't get up, but his fingers reach up to twist around the end of her braid. "I love you." His voice is barely a whisper, and the effort causes a small trickle of blood to escape from the corner of his mouth.

She doesn't know what to say to this. She doesn't love him, she doesn't feel anything except overwhelming terror. So instead of answering she kisses him. She can taste his salty tears and that coppery tang of blood. His skin is cold and sweaty at the same time, smeared with dirt from where the mutt pulled him to the ground. It's a horrible kiss, and she's horrible for thinking that. A stupid, shallow girl who doesn't care about anything but her own survival. Her lips are still on his when the cannon goes off.

She wakes up screaming, her heart thundering in her chest and her hands clutching the blankets. The unfamiliar surroundings don't help and it's a good few minutes before she can calm herself down. No one comes. If she was at home Prim would have been there in an instant, and she misses her little sister more in that instant than she ever has done before.

The taste of Peeta is still thick in her mouth and the glass of water beside her bed does nothing to help. She wants some hot chocolate, a taste that they both loved.

She makes her way out of her room and towards the dining car, stopping to wrap the light robe hanging on the back of the door around herself. The light is still on surprisingly, she'd glanced at the clock next to her bed and it had told her it was past two. She didn't expect anyone to still be up. She knocks softly on the wooden surround of the door, feeling slightly awkward, although she's not sure why.

Effie opens the door, takes one look at Katniss and pulls her into a hug. This is more than she can handle and tears start to flow. Effie holds her until the tears dry up and then leads her to a chair.

She's still sniffing slightly as she apologises to Effie, who tells her not to be silly and presses a mug of hot chocolate into her hands without Katniss even having to ask.

Effie pours herself a mug of coffee from the almost empty pot on the table and gathers up the papers scattered across it into a neat pile.

"Haymitch has them too sometimes. Nightmares. He likes to be left alone. I thought you might want that too."

"Prim is always there. I missed her." They both take slow sips from their drinks, neither of them making eye contact. Katniss looks at the pile of papers on the table, the top sheet is a schedule, written out in Effie's neat handwriting. Half the items on the sheet were crossed out, almost all of them being interviews.

"I'm reworking it. It's too busy." It did look too busy, but Katniss recognised some of the names of the interviewers that had been crossed out, they were the hosts of gossip shows. People who would want to talk about Peeta.

"Thank you." She was sincere too, she knew how much work Effie put into her schedules, and for her to be up at two o'clock in the morning altering them actually meant a lot.

"That's quite alright dear. Now it's rather late, we should get you back to sleep. It's going to be a big, big day tomorrow."

Katniss did not want to think about tomorrow, and she certainly did not want to go back to sleep. "No, I'm done sleeping."

"Katniss..." Effie sighed and rubbed her temples, "you need to sleep. I have some pills, they might help." When Katniss shook her head Effie pursed her lips. "Just try them, please?" It would be nice, to be able to sleep without the nightmares, and so she agrees. Effie pulls a small bag out of a pocket on her dress, one that Katniss had never noticed until now, and still had difficulty making out. There are two small brown bottles in the bag and she pulls one out and offers it to Katniss. The printed label on the front of the bottle says 'Miss Effie Trinkett. One tablet to be taken with food an hour before sleeping. No more than one tablet to be taken in 24 hours.'

Effie has fetched a glass of water and a plate with a small pink cake on it. The cake has an intricate design on top of it in pale pink. It reminds Katniss of the cakes in the window of the bakery, the ones Peeta used to decorate. They don't have any of those in the bakery any more. It is delicious, and she tries to savour it, but it really is only three mouthfuls worth and it is gone far too soon. She takes one of Effie's pills with the glass of water.

"Come on then, let's get you back to bed."

"But the bottle said an hour."

"Yes but they're quite strong pills and your body won't be used to them." And Effie is right, by the time she makes it back to her room she is barely able to keep her eyes open.

"Maybe I should have only given you half a pill." Effie muttered as she helped her out of her robe and back into bed.

Katniss is barely aware of this, she manages a quick "Goodnight Effie," before she is asleep again.

When she wakes in the morning she immediately knows the sleeping tablet had been a bad idea. True she had made it through the night without any further nightmares, but she can barely open her eyes and she feels utterly exhausted. It would have been better if she'd stayed up drinking coffee with Effie all night.

She groggily puts on the first thing she pulls out of the wardrobe, but the shirt has buttons and her fingers refuse to co-operate. She throws it back down onto the floor and pulls another top out, one that slips over her head.

Haymitch and Effie are already in the dining car, Haymitch is eating breakfast whereas Effie is again hunched over her papers.

"What's wrong with you?" That was Haymitch, delightfully considerate as always.

"Oh dear. Katniss, I'm so sorry. Here, have some coffee, it will help." Katniss took the cup from Effie but winced at the taste. She had forgotten how bitter it was. Several spoonfuls of sugar went were added before it became even remotely drinkable.

"I gave her a sleeping pill, but I think it was too strong."

"You think? Look at her, she can barely keep her eyes open. How is she meant to deliver your stupid speeches like this."

"She'll be fine by the time we get to eleven."

"She better be."

She spent the rest of the morning in prep. She thought she'd been through that back at home, but apparently that wasn't sufficient. So she had to suffer through her prep team's inane chatter whilst they repeated the processes they'd carried out on her yesterday. She was actually glad she was so sleepy, it allowed her to doze through most of it. By the time she was done and Cinna had approved her ready for the crowds she had finally woken up.

The first thing that struck her about eleven was how heavily fortified it was. There were Peacekeepers everywhere and great high fences topped with barbed wire. Rue had told her a little about eleven, but she had never imagined that it would be quite so different.

They travelled to the district square in the back of a military vehicle, the first time she had ever been in one. She didn't like it, the four of them were squashed together and her knees kept knocking against Effie's who was sat opposite her.

Effie had obviously decided Haymitch was right about being prepared not helping, she didn't give Katniss the cards with the speech on it until the very last minute. These were the cards Katniss had seen her working on earlier in the morning, obviously another rewrite.

Before she knew it she was stood in front of an enormous crowd, more people than she had ever seen before, even more than there had been at the tributes parade. Standing on two raised platforms were Thresh's and Rue's families, one look was all it took to bring tears to her eyes. She looked away quickly and tried to hold herself together.

She read the words Effie had written, generic nonsense about how honoured they all were to have competed in the Hunger Games and how brave Rue and Thresh had been. She got through the speech fairly quickly, only stumbling over the words once. When she was done she looked up at the families again, which was a mistake. It was customary for the victor to say something personal about the fallen tributes, particularly when they had been allies, but what could she possibly say about Rue, who she had failed to keep alive, and Thresh, who she could never repay. She hurried off the stage and made it back to her team before her tears caught up with her.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey folks, thank you so much for the reviews/favs/follows. Please keep it up. _

_Also- shameless promotion- if any of you are interested the real zoo from the film We Bought a Zoo, Dartmoor Zoo, is running a crowd funding campaign. My brother in law is a keeper there and it's an amazing place. Link is in my profile. _

She was nigh on hysterical by the time they led her back to the train, great sobs tearing through her. Cinna was holding most of her body weight, guiding her along, and she kept her head buried in his jacket. Haymitch was a step ahead of them, using his body to block her from the cameras. Effie had disappeared somewhere. She could hear people calling her name and see the flashes of bulbs, but Haymitch and Cinna kept her moving forward so she didn't have to face them.

They led her back onto the train and straight into her room, Cinna laying her carefully down on her bed. She rolled away from the two of them, burying her face in the pillow, letting her tears run freely. She was such an awful person. Rue's family had been there, her younger brothers and sisters, and she hadn't said anything to them, nothing to let them know how sorry she was that she hadn't brought Rue home, how sorry she was that she had failed them. And now she never would.

"Cinna, be a dear and get her a drink. Hot chocolate." Effie had come back. She sounded breathless. "I've cancelled all her appearances, they'll still want her for the dinner, but we've got a couple of hours."

"How did you pull that off?"

"They want me to cover them. Haymitch, there's something... Seneca, he proposed."

"For fuck's sake Effie. And you said yes?" Silence. "Of course you fucking did." There was a loud crash and Katniss couldn't help herself, she screamed.

"Katniss darling, it's ok." Effie sat down on the bed and pulled Katniss into a hug, running her hand up and down her back. "We're not doing this now Haymitch. I just wanted you to know before I go out there. Now how are we going to play this? A flu virus? It'll give us excuses for the rest of the tour if we need them."

"Whatever. I need a drink."

"Haymitch!"

"The flu's fine Effie. Are we done?"

"No, I think she might need a stabiliser."

"No."

"It's not really up to you. Katniss, there's something we can give you that will make you feel a bit better for a little while. It'll help you get through tonight."

Katniss didn't bother to look up from where she was tucked under Effie's arm. There wasn't any point. She didn't want to feel better. She didn't deserve to feel better. Rue and Thresh were dead and she couldn't even apologise to their families for the parts she had played in their deaths. She needed to pay that back, not take a magic pill to take it all away.

"The answers no. I'm not taking her out there doped up. They'll eat her alive."

"It worked for Annie."

"Annie? Annie Cresta? She's no Annie. She's fine, we'll get her through it."

"Katniss?" She didn't move. "Alright, but they're in my dressing table if she needs them."

"Hot chocolate anyone?" Cinna was back. The atmosphere in the room was suddenly a lot lighter. She felt able to duck out from under Effie's arms and grab the hot chocolate from Cinna's hands. It was warm and delicious and seemed to ease the emptiness which had been building inside her.

"Cinna I need a touch up, I'm going to be live in ten. Haymitch stay with her, and try to stay sober, I don't need to babysit you too." Effie gave her a squeeze before she got off the bed. Cinna rolled his eyes at Haymitch, but Haymitch appeared not to see and so he dutifully followed Effie out.

"You done sniffling?" She just glared at him. "Good 'cause I need a real drink."

"But Effie said..."

"Effie can fuck off."

She followed Haymitch to the dining car where her proceeded to get completely wasted. Glass after glass was poured down his throat without a pause. He was on his sixth glass when Cinna came to check on them less than half an hour later.

"Dammit Haymitch, how much have you had?"

"Not enough." The words were slurred and he had begun swaying on his stool two drinks earlier.

"More than enough more like. What were you thinking. Effie's going to kill us."

"What does it matter. She's getting fucking married."

"You're unbelievable sometimes. Katniss, can you give us a minute. I need to talk some sense into him."

She didn't want to leave. She wanted to know Cinna was about to say. She was beginning to think Haymitch was involved with Effie. He wasn't a tactile person, and the way his fingertips had danced on Effie's skin back in twelve had seemed surprisingly intimate to Katniss. She'd been wondering ever since, and now with how upset he'd got over her engagement it definitely seemed like there was something going on.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that either. Haymitch was the only person who understood what she was going through, the only other person to lose the people he loved to the Games. If he wasn't as alone as she first thought, that was a good thing, right? But if Effie was marrying Seneca then they couldn't be involved. Was Effie hurting Haymitch the way she'd hurt Peeta?

Determined to hear what was being said she noisily made her way down the corridor and then soundlessly back down it, crouching on the other side of the door. She didn't fear them discovering her, they both walked too loudly and she could be back down the corridor before either of them realised she had been there.

"Seriously Haymitch? You knew there was going to be a price for what you pulled. She's the price, and she's out there paying it right now to keep that girl safe. Again. She doesn't need this from you."

"Please tell me your kidding? Why didn't she tell me?"

"They've put the wedding back until after the Quell, I think she thinks she can still get out of it."

"You don't think she can?"

"No, I'm pretty sure he thinks he loves her. She's been getting invitations from him for years. He tells people they're dating."

Now Katniss was really confused. Did Effie love Seneca? Did Haymitch love Effie? Did Peeta love her? She didn't love him, did she? She stopped listening to what Haymitch and Cinna were saying, instead turning her memories of Peeta over and over in her mind. How she'd found out he was with the careers that first night in the Games, when he'd gone back to kill that girl. She'd hated him then, felt so betrayed by him. He was trying to protect her and she didn't know that, but did not knowing that make her hatred false?

She didn't realise that she was still crouched outside the door to the dining car until Haymitch came out and tripped over her, landing flat on his face next to her.

"What the hell are you... fantastic, she's crying again." She brought her fingers up to her face and found that he was correct, she was crying again. Over Peeta, again. Even when she was here in Eleven with the ghosts of Thresh and Rue she couldn't be free of him. "Up you get Sweetheart."

She spent the rest of the afternoon with him and Cinna. He kept clear of the alcohol for once, substituting it for water. By the time Effie came back, flustered and exhausted, he was halfway towards sober. He didn't speak to Effie though, didn't even look at her as she made herself a drink, the few moments of rest she had before she ushered them into prep for the meal.

It continued that way through the entire meal, Haymitch skulked in a corner, sober but even more off-putting than he was when he was drunk, his angry countenance keeping everyone away.

Effie was the opposite, charming everyone around the table. She was sat next to Katniss and whenever it looked like someone was going to turn the attention to Katniss, Effie would interrupt with another tale about her relationship with Seneca. Katniss's main job was to smile and agree with everything Effie said. It worked well, no one said a single word about Peeta or Rue or Thresh.

She did have a pause when the bread from Eleven came around, but Effie reached under the table and grabbed her hand until it passed. And it did pass, the danger of freaking out at a table filled with press providing enough adrenaline to keep her focused.

They were back on the train and away from Eleven without any commotion and the relief was palpable.

"The others will be easier," Haymitch had said to Cinna when he thought Katniss wasn't listening. And though it was awful, he was right. The next few at least would be easier. She had no allies amongst them, no enemies either, she couldn't claim responsibility for their deaths.

When she went to bed there was less dread than there had been the night before, and she hadn't realised how much it had affected her. She still felt drained, but somehow she felt as though she had got through the worst of it.


End file.
